This was doubly so on Dupin Avenue. It was a popular place for these sorts of things because there were no windows that opened up onto it and no roads branched from it. In fact, it was so popular, there was a sign-up sheet with timeslots. At precisely 13 minutes past 11, a group of cloaked, stiff figures approached a trolley on one side of the street, while a group of cloaked, hunched figures approached one on the other. Cloaks were in that year. The tallest of the stiff figures carried an ornately-adorned wooden box the size of a cat. He put it in the trolley, which had two ropes attached to it, one in front and one behind. A figure on the other side emptied a pouch of coins onto their trolley. One member from each group pulled on the front rope of the opposing group's trolley, while another held onto the rear rope of their trolley as it was dragged away. This was the safest way of doing a shady transaction like this, as no one had thought to invent the internet yet. Unbeknownst to them, another cloaked figure watched the deal go down from a rooftop.
"Crap! We're late! Plan B!" The rooftop figure stepped back from the edge and tied a blue ribbon onto a knife. which she threw to the far end of the avenue. It sailed silently over the alley and the building across the way. Down below, two more figures that, you guessed it, also wore cloaks, watched the knife with its blue tail. Each one had their back against a wall at the end of the street, flanking it.
"Blue. I told you it wasn't at 11:15, Ouxps," the taller of the two said. Her cloak was green and a long braid of brown hair spilled out of the cowl on onto her shoulder. "You remember plan B?"
"Oh come on, Chloe, of course I remember plan B!" Ouxps said, whose name sounded like the word oops. "I came up with plan B! I just didn't want to have to do it." Ouxps' voice was young and shook with nerves. Hints of a white and blue robe could be seen peeking out from under the cloak that he held together in front of him. "Let's g-g-get on with it!"
“Just wait until Jesz gets into position,” Chloe said. They leaned over and peered down the street. The two groups were done with their exchange and already heading to the opposing ends of the street, the hunched one towards them. Chloe kept her gloved fist up until the rooftop figure slipped down the wall using a rope and landed behind the approaching group. The very instant Jesz landed, Chloe lowered her hand and she and Ouxps started down on either sidewalk. When they had taken a few steps, Chloe pulled open her cloak with a flourish and brought her hand to the hilt of a sword. It was showtime.
"Hey, wait a minute! You were supposed to come from the East end!" Chloe was loud but her acting skills were terrible. She was on one side of the street, Ouxps on the other. She turned to him and walked into the street. "You're just trying to rob me, aren't you?!"
Ouxps' acting skills were even worse. But that was nothing new on Dupin Avenue. "I w-was not! You were trying to rob me! This i-i-is the East end!" He, too, walked into the street, but pulled out a purple staff and held it out behind him. Chloe held out a longsword so that the two of them were effectively blocking the way out. The group approaching them hesitated.
Jesz held back a snicker. In an instant, she assessed the group from behind. There were four and she knew three of them well: sell swords. The first was a brutish man with thick forearms who carried the box in a backpack he wore. His name was Shane Rod, a thug in every sense. The second was a woman named Noemi Madde who was known as a capable hedge witch and pickpocket*. She stood taller than Shane but her arms and legs were easily as thick as his. In the front of the group stood Fedelmid Fedlimid, the so-called “face” of the group and a deadly marksman with a crossbow. His unfortunate nose was both broken and hooked. But the last person was too obscured to be identified, and was standing between her and Shane.
I've got to get him out of the way! She slipped out a stiletto dagger and snuck up behind him. Not only was she quiet, she was fast. But as she got within striking range, the blade in her hand trembled. Jesz couldn’t see anything beyond the black cloak, but she still knew where to put the stiletto so the pink-eyed man wouldn’t even be able to cry out. She bit her lip and sheathed her weapon.
"What d'ya think yer doin'!? Git outta th'way!" Shane roared. Chloe twitched at his voice.
"I ch-ch-challenge you to a d-d-duel!" Ouxps ignored the others as best as he could, focusing instead on Chloe.
"You would not dare to strike at me!" Chloe said in her wooden performance. She glanced at the others and winced each time they spoke.
"Stand aside!" announced Fedelmid. His voice was nasally and tense and his crossbow was held at the ready.
"Madde, gel, give 'em one of 'em whastits. Y'know, that brew what make 'em inta cats or toads or somesuch." Shane's words drew a soft growl out of Chloe.
"I ain't usin' these on just any whoever you tell me to!" Noemi said and stepped away from Shane. She was holding a vial with a blue glow in her hand. "Yer not me boss!"
"IN THE NAME OF WEBSTER AND ALL THAT IS HOLY, USE 'WHOMEVER,' NOT 'WHOEVER,' WHEN REFERING TO THE OBJECT OF A SENTENCE! And it's 'my boss'! Who taught you all how to speak!? 'Ain't' isn't even a proper word!" Chloe turned to them with the oppressive aura of a million frustrated school marms. It was such an unexpected and impressive outburst that everyone other than Jesz and the pink-eyed figure took a step back, even Ouxps.
Score! Jesz grinned as Shane's backpack was now within reach and everyone's attention was firmly fixed on Chloe. The stiletto blade came back out and slashed open the backpack easily.
Fedelmid scoffed. "How dare you correct the grammar of my associates and I!"
Chloe turned on him fully, a second, shorter blade in her off-hand. "It's 'of my associates and me,' you pompous twit! You would never say, 'of I,' would you? WOULD YOU?!" As she menacingly advanced on them, Jesz was fairly certain she could hear a distant choir singing something in Latin**.
"N-no ma'am!" Ouxps squeaked out.
Jesz pulled the blade back and slipped her light fingers into the gash left behind. She could feel the wood of the box. One tug was all she'd need to free it!
Everything went wrong all at once. Something large and black fell from the sky, or at least from the top of one of the surrounding buildings. It slammed into Shane, knocking him to the ground and tearing the backpack, and box, away from Jesz. Madde dropped the blue vial in surprise. When it shattered, it made a thunderous noise and a bolt of lightning spread across the ground like a net. Fedelmid cried out from the shock and fired a crossbow bolt, but it missed its target and nearly hit a cat, who jumped up with a yowl and darted away. In its blind rush, it smashed into a barrel and ran off. The barrel teetered, tottered, and fell on its side before rolling out of sight.
"It's an ambush!" Chaos ensued as the sell swords scrambled to escape. When Fedelmid and Noemi dragged Shane away, they inadvertently bowled Jesz over. In seconds, they were out of sight.
"Ugh! Aryx!" Chloe whistled and pointed to the fleeing posse. A crested goshawk that had been sitting statue-like on a rooftop took wing and climbed high in the night sky. Then, Chloe and Ouxps ran up to Jesz and pulled her to her feet. After a brief chant from Ouxps, an orb of pure light illuminated the street. Jesz' cloak had been pulled off, revealing a short, lithe girl in her 20s with skin like rich clay, short, red hair, and crimson eyes.
"Are you okay?!" Ouxps asked.
"What the heck was that!?" The three of them looked over at the mass that had fallen. It was a man, dressed in black clothing. He was bleeding profusely from his left hand, or at least where his left hand should have been, and a dart was stuck in his neck.
Jesz rubbed at her rear and walked up to him. When she nudged him with her foot, his head turned and he groaned.
“Did he just say ‘Ming?’” Chloe asked.
Jesz shook her head. “No, I think he said ‘Mean.’ Someone must have been really mean to him.”
“Mnnnggg…” Ouxps repeated. “Iinnnggg…”
“No, it was more like ‘Meeeeeeemmmm’” Jesz said. Pretty soon they were all copying the sound trying to figure out what the man had moaned.
“No, Ming….” The man lifted a hand and opened his eyes, staring at the sky. But then he went limp. The only movement he made was soft breathing.
“We should get this guy to the healers,” Chloe said and leaned over to try lifting him.
“What?! No way! He just cost us a lot of hours of work on this job! Why should we help him?”
“It’s not like it’s his fault! I very much doubt that he was planning to lose a hand and fall half-conscious on a ruffian.”
“So? He’s bad news! Look at him! All that black… Sure sign of a bad guy, I tell you.”
“Guys….” Ouxps put his hand up, but he was ignored.
“That’s ridiculous! Everyone around here wears black!”
“Uh, yeah. Everyone around here is a bad guy. And what about the dart? Good people don’t end up with darts in their necks!”
“Guys!” Ouxps fell to his knees and held his hand to his head. Jesz and Chloe stared at him as he let out a scream. Purple light shot up around him and illuminated the entire lane for several seconds. When it faded, Ouxps was standing with a playful smirk on his lips and purple eyes.
“Oh no. No no no, not you, again!” Jesz said, waving her open hands in front of her and shaking her head.
“Hey, babe,” Ouxps said with his hands on his hips. His voice was deeper, smoother. The wink he gave Jesz made her shiver.
“Murphy…”
“One and the same. I thought it was time I came down to see how my favorite avatar was doing.” Murphy said through Ouxps.
“Your only avatar, you mean,” Chloe corrected. “What do you want, Murphy?”
“Hey now! Is that any way to speak to a god! I could smite you, you know! Eh, who am I kidding? I’m too lazy for that sort of thing. Just listen up, will you? This guy is important to me, but you need to keep him out of sight, got it? No healers, no guards, that sorta thing.”
Chloe and Jesz looked at each other with concern. “What about the Gazer? This guy just ruined our chance to get it,” Jesz said.
“Oh, you still need to get it. That’s important, too. Look, they’re both important. You’re just going to have to figure out how to do both. I dunno, make him join your little team or something. Oh! Looks like my time is about up.”
“Wait, can’t you tell us anything about him? Why Occam’s Gazer so important to you?” Chloe protested. All she got in response was a wink and a pucker before Ouxps’ eyes faded back to their normal blue and he stumbled. Jesz caught him.
“Is he gone?” he asked. “What’d he say?”
Jesz sighed. “Looks like we’ve got a freeloader to take care of.”
*This usually meant knocking the mark out and rummaging through their pockets. Not very many people were interested in stopping a hedge witch when they were working.
**Only the gods and lawyers spoke Latin. No one really knows where the language came from, but it was never a good thing to hear it, either from a god OR a lawyer.
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